Where Did my Happiness Go?
"I can remember being happy once, but now it is gone. Where did it go?"
Whenever I tell myself the story that my happiness, my good, is not present, then I experience unhappiness-anxiety. Let’s say that my known limited good is a million dollars or a certain woman. Right now I have neither, and so I experience lack-anxiety or unhappiness.
But what is a million dollars a symbol of? And what is this woman a symbol of? Let’s say that a million dollars is symbolic of security or prosperity. Let’s say that this woman is symbolic of beauty, intimacy, love, sex, or fun. So where is “prosperity” and where is “fun” in my consciousness? After all, I can only experience my consciousness. I cannot experience a million dollars or a woman directly, but only my consciousness of a million dollars and a woman. So I have a state of mind called “security” and a state of mind called “fun,” which are symbolized by a million dollars and a woman, symbols of my known, limited good.
However, suppose that my good is actually unlimited, unknown and infinite. Suppose that my whole state of mind is my infinite good, which includes all of my finite symbols of good. When my awareness increases from my finite, known, limited good to my unknown, unlimited, infinite good, my anxiety disappears. When I move from Egoland (my known limited good symbols) to Reality (my unknown, unlimited, infinite good), then my anxiety is reduced accordingly.
All limited good symbols eventually become disappointing, frustrating, painful and angering. Anxiety squared. None of my limited good symbols satisfy my infinite appetite. It’s a setup. The universe is rigged for my disappointment and awakening. How can any “limited good” satisfy an “unlimited good” appetite? Impossible.
My clients often say “That woman can never be satisfied!” Or “I can’t make him happy!” Right on both counts! And that’s good to know, isn’t it? Marriage is a perfect laboratory for growth and awakening from our ego story of lack. When we get married, the unconscious ego deal is “I will make you happy if you will make me happy.” Impossible. No one can make anyone else happy. No one can even make himself or herself happy. You are happiness - undiscovered, unknown, denied, and ignored.
Happiness is not something you do or buy or get from somewhere or someone. Happiness is what you are, but forgot. Anxiety is the major sign that you are ignoring who and what you are. Anxiety is the major sign that you are trying to find happiness in Egoland, somewhere outside of Self-awareness. The Infinite Good is what you are, not some object like a million dollars or a certain relationship. You can lose a million dollars or a relationship. The Infinite Good cannot be lost, only ignored. When you awaken to your infinite good, then all finite goods are okay just as they are. You are happiness. All of your finite goods are just to understand and enjoy, not to make you happy. Without Self-awareness, acceptance of everyday life becomes difficult if not impossible, and certainly anxiety-producing. If God is infinite, then my good is always present, whether I am aware of it or not. God is Self-awareness, happiness, and so am i.
When I was in Los Angeles, a psychologist came to me asking for a job in my spiritual psychotherapy center. I asked him why he would want to work for me, when he is a psychologist and can work anywhere he chooses and make better money. He told me a story of a dream that changed his life.
In this dream he was walking down the street when he met a Holy Man. The Holy Man said : “There is a divine plan for your life.” I said to him, pulling out a book from under my arm “I don’t need any other plan, I have my own plan. Look in my book here.” The Holy Man looked in my book and then pulled out a much bigger book from under his own arm and said “Look at what’s in my book, and you will see that my plan includes your plan!”
The Infinite Good includes all finite goods and none of the anxiety. That is why Jesus said “Seek first the Kingdom of Reality and all other finite things will be added unto you.” (Matt 6:33) His whole mission was to demonstrate and explain the science of happiness, or joy, as he called it. Where did your happiness go? It went nowhere, you just went unconscious. You are seeking outwardly and anxiously for the symbols of what you already are.
Whenever I tell myself the story that my happiness, my good, is not present, then I experience unhappiness-anxiety. Let’s say that my known limited good is a million dollars or a certain woman. Right now I have neither, and so I experience lack-anxiety or unhappiness.
But what is a million dollars a symbol of? And what is this woman a symbol of? Let’s say that a million dollars is symbolic of security or prosperity. Let’s say that this woman is symbolic of beauty, intimacy, love, sex, or fun. So where is “prosperity” and where is “fun” in my consciousness? After all, I can only experience my consciousness. I cannot experience a million dollars or a woman directly, but only my consciousness of a million dollars and a woman. So I have a state of mind called “security” and a state of mind called “fun,” which are symbolized by a million dollars and a woman, symbols of my known, limited good.
However, suppose that my good is actually unlimited, unknown and infinite. Suppose that my whole state of mind is my infinite good, which includes all of my finite symbols of good. When my awareness increases from my finite, known, limited good to my unknown, unlimited, infinite good, my anxiety disappears. When I move from Egoland (my known limited good symbols) to Reality (my unknown, unlimited, infinite good), then my anxiety is reduced accordingly.
All limited good symbols eventually become disappointing, frustrating, painful and angering. Anxiety squared. None of my limited good symbols satisfy my infinite appetite. It’s a setup. The universe is rigged for my disappointment and awakening. How can any “limited good” satisfy an “unlimited good” appetite? Impossible.
My clients often say “That woman can never be satisfied!” Or “I can’t make him happy!” Right on both counts! And that’s good to know, isn’t it? Marriage is a perfect laboratory for growth and awakening from our ego story of lack. When we get married, the unconscious ego deal is “I will make you happy if you will make me happy.” Impossible. No one can make anyone else happy. No one can even make himself or herself happy. You are happiness - undiscovered, unknown, denied, and ignored.
Happiness is not something you do or buy or get from somewhere or someone. Happiness is what you are, but forgot. Anxiety is the major sign that you are ignoring who and what you are. Anxiety is the major sign that you are trying to find happiness in Egoland, somewhere outside of Self-awareness. The Infinite Good is what you are, not some object like a million dollars or a certain relationship. You can lose a million dollars or a relationship. The Infinite Good cannot be lost, only ignored. When you awaken to your infinite good, then all finite goods are okay just as they are. You are happiness. All of your finite goods are just to understand and enjoy, not to make you happy. Without Self-awareness, acceptance of everyday life becomes difficult if not impossible, and certainly anxiety-producing. If God is infinite, then my good is always present, whether I am aware of it or not. God is Self-awareness, happiness, and so am i.
When I was in Los Angeles, a psychologist came to me asking for a job in my spiritual psychotherapy center. I asked him why he would want to work for me, when he is a psychologist and can work anywhere he chooses and make better money. He told me a story of a dream that changed his life.
In this dream he was walking down the street when he met a Holy Man. The Holy Man said : “There is a divine plan for your life.” I said to him, pulling out a book from under my arm “I don’t need any other plan, I have my own plan. Look in my book here.” The Holy Man looked in my book and then pulled out a much bigger book from under his own arm and said “Look at what’s in my book, and you will see that my plan includes your plan!”
The Infinite Good includes all finite goods and none of the anxiety. That is why Jesus said “Seek first the Kingdom of Reality and all other finite things will be added unto you.” (Matt 6:33) His whole mission was to demonstrate and explain the science of happiness, or joy, as he called it. Where did your happiness go? It went nowhere, you just went unconscious. You are seeking outwardly and anxiously for the symbols of what you already are.
posted by Dr. Joe at 6:55 AM
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